Interpersonal communication between people who have never met can be challenging. STRONG personalities can DOMINATE and CONTROL while the “Life of the party” folks fill the room with chatter and laughter . . . and the sensitive, emotional attendees feel overwhelmed by all of this LOUD noise and boisterous energy . . . Meanwhile, the compliant people in the room try to call the business at hand to order (fighting a losing battle).
With just a few little “hacks”, we can all contribute to improving the ambiance of every new conversation amongst relative strangers. Using these tips, odds are good you can make a good guess at a stranger’s personality, and HONOR who they are by meeting them as much as possible where THEY are by mirroring through observation. This is intentional relationship building at the core and gets constructive conversations moving more quickly.
There are myriad “Personality Assessment tools” which require answering lots of questions followed by a “scoring” process . . . Of course, we don’t have the time or inclination to have all participants take such a test before engaging in dialog, so I lead with the DISC assessment which (once practiced) can hone in enough on another person’s probable personality very quickly simply by observing mannerisms, voice inflection, body language, and verbal intonation.
DOMINANCE – LOUD – IN CHARGE – Wants things DONE NOW (not so worried about being done right, as long as it’s done. Impatient and may seem to be non-caring . . . Insensitive and overbearing
INFLUENCE – The life of the party. Chatty and FUN! Probably driving a flashy new car and dressed to the nines. This person seems to know EVERYONE and flits around from person to person and may seem too fleeting to be full engaged
STEADINESS – Quiet and reserved – an observer who might not say much, but when speaking, wise and thoughtful. These folks have “FEELINGS” (and will likely mention: “I feel . . . “)
COMPLIANCE – For these folks, following the rules is important. Statistics and accuracy are important. They don’t speak much, but when they do, their thoughts will be well constructed and precision of thought
Following are a few (more simple) was of zeroing in another person’s personality.
Peach – These people are soft and fuzzy at first impression . . . very sweet inside, and be aware that they have a very hard PIT that can hurt you if you bite too deep. A Peach is likely to stew in silence (seething) on something for a while and then they EXPLODE. It’s important to pay attention to them even though they are sitting in apparent alignment
Melon – These people are the ones you can’t get much out of for a while. They might seem to be aloof, unengaged, arrogant? They seem to be unapproachable, difficult to engage, not interested, BUT Beyond that tough, skin, they are very sweet and loyal people . . . often the most valuable team players
Cat – These people seem not to care about anything that’s happening – In their own little selfish worlds doing whatever they want to do . . . It seems they could take you or leave you at a moment’s notice. When they DO show up, they want ALL the attention. and don’t DARE think you can make them do something they don’t want to do (Like take a bath)
Dog – LOVE you and only want you to be happy. Content, LOYAL (to a fault). These folks will defend their loved ones faithfully. They are unconditional and simple companions.
There’s my stab at “Interpersonal Relationship Building 101
Remember – mirror others, and you’ll find yourself in more efficient and productive communication as you meander through life