Knowing when to hold’m (say YES) and when to fold’m (say NO)

Figure this one out, and you’ll have one of the golden keys to liberating yourself and others.

Both “YES” and “NO” are very powerful words which, if used appropriately, are the main instruments of choice.

When you say “Yes,” to what are you saying “NO?”

Same with “No” – When you say it, what’s the “Yes” you’re choosing?

Seth Godin wrote a relevant post today Basting the Turkey that tells a story of an entire industry of people none of whom had the guts to say “NO” (How often does THAT happen?) to a project that was driven by lots of MONEY and some powerful people of influence.

When you say “NO” to someone or something to do, you liberate yourself, your, time, energy, and relationships to focus on other useful pursuits . . . You also liberate THAT person from a commitment from you that may be less authentic.

If you’re not likely to contribute or receive anything useful by choosing that path, say NO.

On the flip side . . . YES is an enthusiastic commitment and is just as liberating. Be VERY choosy about your Yeses because they define your path just as poignantly as the Nos.

“The Mass of Men Lead Lives of quiet desperation” . . . and that mass of men are the ones who probably have challenges with this yes/no yin/yang thing.

The art form of this dynamic is what often separates the VERY successful folks from everyone else.

Some folks might think it’s because they’re not “Yes-Men” and say “NO” more often . . . and then comes judgement from those who don’t get it . . . because they interpret the “NO” as a selfish trait cop-out . . . as in:

That guy thinks he’s such a superstar, he doesn’t want to be seen with us common folk.

That’s not it at all.

These ultra-successful people think very carefully before saying either yes or no . . . and whichever they say is a steadfast commitment.

In the end, this is all about being authentic – Truthful to yourself and others – and committed to following your heart – your passion and saying “NO” to anything that might distract you from this life purpose.

Just some musings as we drive across the country.




“Maybe” is for wimps

Published by Barry Owen

Strategist-CEO of Pareto Realty Real estate sales Professional Inviter-Facilitator-Practicer of Open Space Technology Opening safe space for people & organizations to self-organize around issues & opportunities BarryOwen.US Invite-Listen-Love

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