Dear John . . .

We’ve been together through tough times and have had our ups and our downs.

We have laughed and played and argued and WORKED so hard to reach that goal we set at the beginning of our relationship.

Sadly, I feel I have let you down. I’m not as much in love with you now as I thought I was when we first met . . . The excitement/thrill is gone, and I think it’s best that we call it quits.

Yes John, I have worked and worked to sell your house at the price and terms you want, and I just cannot do it, so I think it’s best that we part ways.

You will always have a special place in my heart, but I must go now.

With tears . . . good-bye!


PS: Should you encounter anyone (Friend, Family, Work associates) in need of my services, please refer them to me, and I’ll give them the same top-notch service I gave YOU (until I quit)



Do NOT be this REALTOR!

The “Dear John” email brings up SO many of the issues that give our profession a bad rap amongst the general public


  • Don’t do this stuff by email. When having difficulty with a client, be the leader . . . set a LIVE appointment (face-to-face, telephone, skype) to seek understanding as to why things aren’t working.
  • Odds are good that the rough ride has to do with communication – Lack thereof, misunderstanding, or relying on the wrong medium (Phone, Email, Text). Have you always been responsive to the client? Do you take the initiative, or does the client have to be the one to connect with YOU to get updates?
  • Own your own responsibility for the communication breakdown(s) and pledge to yourself that you’ll fix’m so you don’t have the same issues with other clients.
  • If you really DO need to sever the working relationship with this client, don’t leave them hanging high and dry . . . offer a referral to an agent you think can serve them well

How you got into this mess

  • Should you have taken on this listing to begin with? At the beginning, were you confident in the price, the condition, and your ability to effectively serve/market this property?
  • Did you like the client?
  • Did you take the listing because you “needed a listing” even though it really is out of your area of expertise?
  • Did you take the listing because the client is a friend or friend of a friend?

How you can save face . . . 

  • Meet face-to-face
  • Apologize for you role in this quagmire
  • ASK and Listen (This is NOT the time to argue or place blame)
  • Seek solutions other than termination of the listing
  • If necessary, gracefully bow out

Most importantly – Don’t beat yourself up!

Life is messy sometimes. Even the most perfect of us drop balls and bite off more than we can chew occasionally.

The folks who succeed at the highest level are those who run TOWARDS the issues that emerge and clean up the messes before moving on.

Most reputations build on “Heroic Recoveries”

and it all begins with authentic communication . . .

We love you . . . Now! Chin UP!

Go work your magic . . .


Pareto Realty is a real estate firm that specializes in helping our team members specialize such that each and every client receives true niche EXPERT service. If you need something we don’t offer within our team, we will refer you to a real specialist with another firm.

Because . . . We are THE resource for all things real estate in Middle TN and beyond.

Published by Barry Owen

Residential Real Estate sales Strategist Search - Analysis - Negotiation - CLOSED Inviter-Facilitator-Practicer of Open Space Technology Opening safe space for people & organizations to self-organize around issues & opportunities Invite-Listen-Love

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