The best coaches are those who have mastered the art of “Tough Love”
They “teach” us how to fish instead of giving us a fish.
It’s kinda like an “Intel Inside” thing . . . Humming along inside while being always present and invisible above the surface.
I have the word “Strategist” in my email signature block for a reason. I believe that all people have within them everything they need to do whatever needs to be done. It’s already baked in at birth. As a Coach/Mentor/Principal, the most egregious thing I could possibly do TO anyone asking my advice is to “should on them.”
When I consult with Home Buyers and Sellers and offer perspective and possible paths to moving things forward, I am VERY careful not to usurp my clients’ individual power by daring to enter the realm of making a decision on their behalf.
When I am coaching a Real Estate Professional facing a snag, hiccup, quandary, quagmire, or dealing with a completely irrational, egotistical, maniac, I always know that I, as a dis-engaged 3rd party, could ride up on my white stallion and save the day by taking over the negotiation . . . and I know this would be a disservice to everyone involved. If I were to take the reigns, the only learning that happens is the creation of dependency upon Barry to solve any and every issue that rears its ugly head.
I believe this dishonors the worth of the coachee.
Always better to offer wisdom . . . Simple things like – Take a deep breath – go for a short walk outside – change your mode of communication (from text to Voice or video or in-person meeting) – suppress your inclination to take offense at the other person’s escalating frustration – LISTEN and RESPOND rather than reacting.
All of the above is a good start – The coachee must do the rest all by her/him self.
This is magical because, at the end, the coachee can proudly declare:
“Look what I did!”
and I can then fade into the sunset . . .