When there always seems to be a “but” in the room

I’d be tickled pink if the word “but” were to be erased from the English language, but then what would people say when they don’t want to hear anything but what they want to hear?

“But” cancels, negates, and fails to honor anything that was said prior.

If you don’t like what she says, just repeat it back to her followed by “but” and you’ll be communicating that it’s gonna be YOUR way, or she can hit the highway.

“I may be fat, but you’re ugly, and I can lose weight.”

Obviously, use of the “but” flatters no-one and generally doesn’t take the communication thread in a useful direction.

“But” creates limitations . . . squashes creativity and Spirit . . . Closes space that previously felt Open.

“But”s damage relationships.

Try this . . . Every time you find yourself about to utter a “But,” replace it with an “And,” and see how that changes the tone and usefulness of whatever it is that you say next.

Say more “and”s, and you’ll find yourself speaking more intentionally and authentically.

Say more “and”s, and you’ll find more people LISTENING to you and ENGAGING with you.

More useful communication will happen, AND more work will get done in less time.


(This post comes as a cathartic exercise to release the tension in my head after an Hour+ long meeting that was FULL of “BUT”s)

Read the next post I write . . . Another rant with an equally useful tip 🙂

Published by Barry Owen

Strategist-CEO of Pareto Realty Real estate sales Professional Inviter-Facilitator-Practicer of Open Space Technology Opening safe space for people & organizations to self-organize around issues & opportunities BarryOwen.US Invite-Listen-Love

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