Monday Morning Coffee – Caught up in y’self!

Good Morning!

This past weekend had this recurring theme:

“It ain’t ALL about YOU!”

Now! I guess anyone could take that statement and go any number of directions. (Could apply to everyone)

I could be talking to the egotists in the crowd who are all about themselves and regularly practice their “Bull in the China shop” routine bullying folks and taking all the credit for anything that goes right (and denying having anything to do with anything that doesn’t).


I could be talking to the poor little victims out there who are just getting steam-rolled by life and are certain that “It’s JUST NOT FAIR!” Life (and opportunities) are passing them by as they wallow in their own self-pity.

Am I sounding insensitive?

My intent is not to offend. I know that emotions sometimes rule and we all have “Bully” and “Victim” Capabilities . . . and slip into those modes when life isn’t happening as we planned. wished, anticipated.

5 minutes into Jessica’s soccer game this Saturday, I (assistant coach) and Walt (Head Coach) both had a moment of panic. Our team was getting pummeled and we weren’t certain why. It seemed as if every time they got the ball, the refs were calling them “Off-sides”.

Our team was having a whale of a time getting past mid-field, while the other team seemed to be effortlessly cruising through to our goal.

Our first thought was that the ref was being unreasonable and was calling “off-sides” only against US (Victims) . . . we huddled and discussed the definition of “Off-sides” and then watched a few more plays . . . Our girls definitely WERE getting off-sides . . .  But WHY?

What is it that our girls are doing WRONG?

Lightbulb went off in my head next time the offsides was called, We were facing a game strategy we had never seen before (and certainly had not coached our team how to handle). The other team was playing a “Trap Defense” in which they move ALL of their defensive players up field to the center line effectively taking 1/2 the field out of play for our offense.

Our initial response was ANGER. HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO OUR TEAM? This is JUST NOT FAIR!

That victim mentality wasn’t helping us . . . We either had to shift our OWN strategy or face another 30 minutes of humiliation . . . How could we “re-tool” our team to a whole new strategy during a 10 minute half-time huddle?

THAT was our challenge . . . so we did it.

We adopted the “Do unto others . . . ” routine and explained to our team what was happening . . . Their difficulties were not about their ability to play the game and then said that we need to fight fire with fire and run our own trap defense effectively shrinking the playing field to @ 30 yards . . . This would effectively shut down BOTH offenses and the ONLY possible way for either team to score would be an “escapee forward” taking the ball single-footedly” to the goal.

It took our team losing 2 more goals before they GOT it . . . and they GOT IT! We shut’m down and kept them to 4 points for the game. If we had had another 10 minutes to play, we might have beaten them at their own game.

At the end of a 4-0 game, our team was exuberant because they had played their hearts out and had held their ground in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds.

I over-heard the other coach express dismay about how quickly our team had shifted strategy.

What he had not anticipated is that we have a team with heart and great wisdom . . . Each player knows in her heart that it’s not all about her . . . or the team . . . it’s about playing the game to best of ability.

How can we all learn not to get all caught up in ourselves?

Just follow heart and take responsibility for taking appropriate ACTION . . . and things tend to flow as they should.

None of us get anywhere waiting for others to take the lead 🙂

Win or lose . . . we’re playing a great game 🙂

Just sayin’



 Stand up and take action!

It’s none of your business what anyone else thinks aboutcha . . .


Published by Barry Owen

Residential Real Estate sales Strategist Search - Analysis - Negotiation - CLOSED Inviter-Facilitator-Practicer of Open Space Technology Opening safe space for people & organizations to self-organize around issues & opportunities Invite-Listen-Love

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