How much is too much coddling?

We REALTORS like to coddle our clients!


We pour our hearts and souls and seemingly limitless energy and time into being sure that our client gets EVERYTHING she wants while experiencing minimal angst and inconvenience.

Buying or selling a house is a process with many moving parts and myriad personalities in the mix.

There’s plenty of potential for conflict and LOTS of urgency as each of the “parties to the transaction” navigates through the steps from start to finish.

Invariably, there will be surprises along the way. After all, seldom does anything of real significance happen according to plan.

Most REALTORS take it 100% upon themselves to insulate their clients from any and all difficulties often to a fault . . . that is . . . the degree at which they coddle their clients negates the possibility of enjoying any semblance of personal quality of life.

This results in taking calls at obscene hours, loss of sleep, improper eating habits, denial of exercise/fitness, Spiritual abandonment, and disconnection from loved ones (Friends and family).

My observation and presumption is that all of the above likely bears relevance to many other professions also.

Why do we do this?

Most will say they do it because they “CARE”, and I agree that is an honorable pursuit, BUT don’t you deserve to live a life of fulfillment NOW?

If you keep procrastinating enjoyment of life, you have potential never to experience it . . . because who really knows when their time here will end?

So . . . Back to coddling!

Consider a bit less coddling.

Be open to opening safe space for your clients and allowing the process to unfold without micro-managing every iota. Know that timing is everything, and if things are not going well, perhaps this isn’t the right time . . . and so willingness to let go becomes important.

When we coddle (too much), we deny our clients the full experience. We all LEARN from anomalies in the process. We achieve validation through participation, and if our coddling results in a non participatory experience for our clients, have we really done them the best service?

Of course, this way of doing things may look messy at times. Sometimes, we’re “muddling through” uncharted territory together (“Together” is the operative word) with our clients. The best part of this is that we get to celebrate our successes together also, knowing that we ALL had a vital role in the achievement.

With respect to being less accessible than 24/7/365, often things work themselves out when given appropriate space. Frenetic voice mail messages left at 10 PM often convert to rational, productive dialog after a good night’s sleep.

I’m not suggesting cessation of coddling . . . only inviting you to consider how much you coddle and how that is affecting your quality of life, your enjoyment of your profession, and your client’s experience and learning throughout the process?

Generally speaking, we all enjoy a challenge. Yes – Keeping things in relative “control” is an important skill for all of us, but we also know that the further we stay from the edge, the less rich the experience (plain vanilla) and the less probable reward. As we approach the edge, the stakes are higher . . . and when we get “there” we tend to CELEBRATE with more vibrancy.

This is a very stream of consciousness post which comes as a result of my recent observations of many REALTORS literally running themselves into the ground mentally, physically, and emotionally . . . and leaving their families so as to be able to coddle their clients. If you are one of these people, I hereby give you permission to shift some of your coddling away from your clients (it may do them some good) towards yourself and your friends and family.

There now . . . I said it!

I “unpack” many of these principles in a workshop I offer a few time each year.

I call this “Life Rhythm”

It’s an intense 4 week experience – Meeting 2 hours each week.

A link to the event is here – The dates will change into a November Time frame (I will adjust the Invitation later today)

Finding Your Life Rhythm

I hope you’ll join us  – and connect with me for any questions.


Published by Barry Owen

Strategist-CEO of Pareto Realty Real estate sales Professional Inviter-Facilitator-Practicer of Open Space Technology Opening safe space for people & organizations to self-organize around issues & opportunities BarryOwen.US Invite-Listen-Love

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