Negotiations are important!
After all, without some level of diplomacy and order . . . any time people have differences of opinion, it serves everyone quite well to have a “process” in place to resolve these differences or agree to disagree (and thereby go separate ways) PEACEFULLY!
Each of us has our own “Negotiating Strategy”:
- Our daughters are masters at the “pull on my heart strings” strategy
- Teenagers master the art of “Winning by Confusion” – they jumble the facts and confuse their “opponents” just as any good trial attorney can do in the courtroom.
- Some folks “Kill their Opponents with kindness” . . . All “Sugar and Spice” . . . and they lull the other side into complacency and Utopia . . . Next thing ya know, the farm is gone.
- Then we have HAMMERS . . . these folks who see every negotiation as an opportunity to drive a nail (Their point of view) through the heart of anyone who dares think differently.
All of the above are strategies that we all have to deal with and tend to do OK with because we learn how to identify them early and have some comfort in knowing what we’re going to get.
The DINS (Drama Infused Negotiation Strategy) is a silent killer and (unfortunately) can manifest in any of the other techniques.
The DINS includes sudden outbursts of emotion – Anger, Crying, Passive Aggression . . . and always a tie in to an emotional theme often citing “Personal Problems” of the negotiator or the client.
This technique is particularly disarming for most folks because who wants to be the insensitive cad who refuses to acknowledge remorse for such an unfortunate set of circumstances?
Within a single 10-15 minute conversation, A well trained DINS negotiator can completely disarm his opponent rendering her indefensible because she loses her path in the negotiation.
THIS is why we have CONTRACTS and do EVERYTHING in WRITING!
At the moment you realize you’ve been sucked into a DINS, STOP!
Pull out all of the written documentation and refresh yourself on the basics of the deal.
- Why were we negotiating?
- What terms are already agreed?
- What differences exist?
- How does the contract address these issues?
ALWAYS revert back to what is WRITTEN when you find yourself in an emotional (Personal) quagmire.
Then . . .
Move forward IN WRITING.
Oh . . . one more thing . . . Do NOT negotiate by email. That’s just silly. Pick up the phone and TALK!