Before you judge me (or anyone else) . . .

Decide to be kind!

This is the most fundamental principle necessary for effective (useful) communication.

This is sometimes very difficult when the other party to the encounter is seemingly irrational and obviously hailing from a different perspective (Planet, universe, or reality) than yours.

Our first instinct is primal – Fight or Flight – but that’s not useful because we gotta get things done, and THIS person is the person with whom we must work to get this thing done, so . . .

Begin with seeking to understand (Steven Covey) by taking a deep breath and approach with empathy.

Why is this person SO wound up about this?

The better we get at learning this art of empathy, the more effective we can all be.

Stay calm and ask:

What are the issues as you see them?

Who, other than you, are the people who will be impacted by the outcome?

Why are these issues important to you?

What specific result do want out of this.

When do we need to have resolution?

After learning from the above questions, practice Gestalt Principles with the goal to find closure.

Knowing that we do not have the power/ability to solve their problems or make them go away, we can “walk in their shoes” and speak about how we would approach these issues.

Perhaps we have some prior experiences similar to this that would help formulation of creative solutions.

In this way, we (hopefully) diffuse the source of their angst, and we all move forward with cooperative Spirit!

This doesn’t always work because we know that there’s no accounting for crazy people, but most people aren’t crazy . . . They’re simply not yet understood.

So . . . back to being nice . . . When you’ve decided to be nice – always – everything written above happens naturally.

A little bit like riding a bicycle.

The secret sauce is the intentional mindset of being nice.

I said more about this in my drive time video this morning.

All in the Spirit of calming the tumultuous waters in our world albeit minutely.

One small step that can make a HUGE difference.


Published by Barry Owen

Strategist-CEO of Pareto Realty Real estate sales Professional Inviter-Facilitator-Practicer of Open Space Technology Opening safe space for people & organizations to self-organize around issues & opportunities BarryOwen.US Invite-Listen-Love

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