Our Delusion of “Control”

Do most of us have it WRONG?

What things, people, events, circumstances do any of us REALLY have CONTROL over?

Arguably, the only person on the planet I can control is myself (Same goes for you :-))!

We can take responsibility for this control (of self) and honor it in all of its glory . . . or we can choose to give it away.

I got a speeding ticket last month.

Of course, it wasn’t my fault . . .

  • I was running late and needed to be on time
  • I was driving a “perfectly safe speed on a relatively empty road
  • The weather was beautiful
  • I was focused on my driving (not texting or talking on the phone)
  • That police man clocked me exceeding the speed limit in a section of the road where the speed limit had decreased 15 MPH . . . dirty pool!
  • I haven’t had a ticket in YEARS
I fretted over this new blemish on my record . . . grew very irritated when I realized it would cost me @ $150 AND more than an hour of my time enduring an on-line “Driver Safety Class” . . . I thought to self: “This is a STUPID system . . . why are “THEY” doing to this little ole me who was caught in that sneaky speed trap?
After all, I WAS in FULL control of my vehicle and well within my ability to operate my car safely – NOT FAIR!
I took the Driver Safety Class yesterday and learned something about control.
  • “We give other people and situations control over us by the way we react to them.”
  • “Speeders think they are taking control when they are actually LOSING it.”
and a neat little 3-step process for maintaining appropriate control:
  1. Recognize what’s ahead using all of your senses (Sight, Hearing, Smell, Touch)
  2. Understand what it means and play the “What if . . . ” scenario Game
  3. ACT Correctly and “in time” (not too early or late)
I more than learned my lesson . . . I got that ticket that day because I hadn’t left the house as early as I should have in order to make the appointment on time. I had FULL CONTROL over when to leave the house, put myself in a rush and acted inappropriately . . . I’m now a reformed speeding offender . . . I’ve seen the light.
So . . .
How much control do you give other people over you?
If you find yourself stewing over what “they” said or did and REACT with rash actions and words, you’ve given your control away.
Don’t DO that!
Just sayin’
Best,
b

Published by Barry Owen

Strategist-CEO of Pareto Realty Real estate sales Professional Inviter-Facilitator-Practicer of Open Space Technology Opening safe space for people & organizations to self-organize around issues & opportunities BarryOwen.US Invite-Listen-Love

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