What’s your “Silver Bullet”?

Myriad “Coaches” clamor for our attention with their grandiose programs which promise AMAZING results from simple, low cost strategies they can teach us at the LOW cost of $_______.

Of course, we ALL know that: “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably IS . . . “

Joe Stumpf taught me a valuable lesson a few decades ago. His program was an amalgamation of EVERY kind of lead generation any human could conceive to date . . . He unabashedly had gathered every successful sales strategy that any and all of his own clients had practiced through the years as well as much of the already published wisdom from Howard Brinton, Zig Ziglar & etc.

Joe wasn’t a brilliant coach . . . He was a guy who realized the power of the wisdom of our collective membership. Essentially, he acknowledged that there is no such thing as “Original Thought” in the field of Sales training.

ALL of of these strategies WORK for some of the people . . . NO single strategy works for all of the people.

I paid Joe Stumpf THOUSANDS of dollars, so he could convince me to “TEST EVERYTHING”!

Take any single way of lead generation and ask a bunch of your colleagues if that way works, and 80% of them will tell you: “That will NEVER work! I tried it with NO success” 15% of them will claim to have “some success”, and less than 5% will RAVE about how great that strategy has been for their business.

The bottom line is that there’s no “one shoe fits all” for sales people.

Test EVERYTHING and discover YOUR most successful client attraction.

Soon enough, you’ll find yourself having better results with less effort . . . and you’ll also find that you LIKE . . . and even LOVE EVERY client because your way attracts your kind of people.

Let it flow!

Let Go!




Lean in with the right people

It is true that whoever comes is the right people.

You might disagree (and that’s OK), but WHY are you HERE NOW instead of somewhere else with different people?

Who invited you?

What was the theme of the invitation?

What about that invitation compelled you to reserve the time to show up?

Whether or not you “like” these people, what can you learn from them?

What can you contribute to the discussion/cause that will make a difference?

What happens if you feel “these people” aren’t like you, but you stay anyway out of curiosity?

Welcome diversity of culture, experience, background, ideas, perspectives, personalities, egos.

Own your own responsibility for being here . . . now engage.

If, after all of this, you find yourself neither contributing and/or receiving anything of value (You are physically here but not present), then know that you have permission to use your 2 feet to take yourself to another place where you CAN contribute and/or receive value.

Bottom line . . . It is YOUR responsibility to decide to be useful . . . Don’t let anyone else define you

Theme – Invitation –

The right People come (Because they have passion for the theme)

Right PlaceRight Time

Whatever happens is the only thing that could have . . .

When it’s Over – It’s OVER

Show up and be present . . .

Follow what has heart and meaning for YOU

Tell the truth (without judgement) to yourself and others

Let it go . . .



Open Space Technology – Harrison Owen

The FourFold Way – Angeles Arrien

There’s a reason


This is what it is because someone thought it would be a good idea, and “they” claimed the positional authority to make it so.

Your opinion matters not to this person (or the presiding body politic) as long as it’s perceived to be relevant to the mission.

If you decide to challenge the validity of this, you might find yourself facing opposition.

There are egos to consider.

Common sense might become absent . . . “It’s this way because it’s ALWAYS been this way”

How important to you is this battle?

What’s the potential cost in energy, time, and/or money?

Can you Let Go?

Here’s the bottom line . . . Can you let it go?

If not, proceed until success (unless or until tackled)

FAST Personality Litmus Tests

Interpersonal communication between people who have never met can be challenging. STRONG personalities can DOMINATE and CONTROL while the “Life of the party” folks fill the room with chatter and laughter . . . and the sensitive, emotional attendees feel overwhelmed by all of this LOUD noise and boisterous energy . . . Meanwhile, the compliant people in the room try to call the business at hand to order (fighting a losing battle).

With just a few little “hacks”, we can all contribute to improving the ambiance of every new conversation amongst relative strangers. Using these tips, odds are good you can make a good guess at a stranger’s personality, and HONOR who they are by meeting them as much as possible where THEY are by mirroring through observation. This is intentional relationship building at the core and gets constructive conversations moving more quickly.

There are myriad “Personality Assessment tools” which require answering lots of questions followed by a “scoring” process . . . Of course, we don’t have the time or inclination to have all participants take such a test before engaging in dialog, so I lead with the DISC assessment which (once practiced) can hone in enough on another person’s probable personality very quickly simply by observing mannerisms, voice inflection, body language, and verbal intonation.

DOMINANCE – LOUD – IN CHARGE – Wants things DONE NOW (not so worried about being done right, as long as it’s done. Impatient and may seem to be non-caring . . . Insensitive and overbearing

INFLUENCE – The life of the party. Chatty and FUN! Probably driving a flashy new car and dressed to the nines. This person seems to know EVERYONE and flits around from person to person and may seem too fleeting to be full engaged

STEADINESS – Quiet and reserved – an observer who might not say much, but when speaking, wise and thoughtful. These folks have “FEELINGS” (and will likely mention: “I feel . . . “)

COMPLIANCE – For these folks, following the rules is important. Statistics and accuracy are important. They don’t speak much, but when they do, their thoughts will be well constructed and precision of thought

Following are a few (more simple) was of zeroing in another person’s personality.

Peach – These people are soft and fuzzy at first impression . . . very sweet inside, and be aware that they have a very hard PIT that can hurt you if you bite too deep. A Peach is likely to stew in silence (seething) on something for a while and then they EXPLODE. It’s important to pay attention to them even though they are sitting in apparent alignment

Melon – These people are the ones you can’t get much out of for a while. They might seem to be aloof, unengaged, arrogant? They seem to be unapproachable, difficult to engage, not interested, BUT Beyond that tough, skin, they are very sweet and loyal people . . . often the most valuable team players

Cat – These people seem not to care about anything that’s happening – In their own little selfish worlds doing whatever they want to do . . . It seems they could take you or leave you at a moment’s notice. When they DO show up, they want ALL the attention. and don’t DARE think you can make them do something they don’t want to do (Like take a bath)

Dog – LOVE you and only want you to be happy. Content, LOYAL (to a fault). These folks will defend their loved ones faithfully. They are unconditional and simple companions.

There’s my stab at “Interpersonal Relationship Building 101

Remember – mirror others, and you’ll find yourself in more efficient and productive communication as you meander through life



Where are we relative to each other

A few days go, a friend and I agreed to meet for a hike. On the appointed day, I had a business meeting scheduled for 1:30 that I was certain wouldn’t take more than 45 minutes. My meeting was about a 10 minute drive to the trailhead, so we agreed that we would meet “after 2:30” in the designated park.

My meeting went well, but the unexpected occured . . . 3 of the attendees (not I) were Auctioneers, and we seemed to wrapping up the business at @ 2:15, so I sent my friend a text: “Wrapping up here – my ETA @ 2:30”

I learned something about Auctioneers for the following hour & 1/2 . . . They LOVE to tell auction stories, and they have MANY tales to tell, and EVERY new tale told begets memory of another tale.

While I enjoyed hearing all of these stories, my blood pressure was rising as I knew my friend was waiting waiting waiting . . . Would she give up?

@3:30, the storytelling ended, and I called my friend who had done what I probably would have done – She set out on the trail . . . so . . . we began the hilarious problem solving exercise of finding each other in this HUGE park.

The hilarity commenced with what we thought would be the easiest solution. I would find her car, park there, and strike out on the trail towards her and she would turn around towards me. Sensible – Yes?

She told me that, from her car, she could see Steeplechase, OHB and Vaughn road near HWY 100. AHA! I know that spot well, and I was certain I would find her car in the dog park parking lot at the corner of OHB and Vaughn Rd, so I went there and found her car right where she described it – “Red car backed into the 1st parking lot – Totally visible”


I sat and waited for 15 minutes, and she sent me a text: : “I just made it to my car” . . . HUH? I looked around, and she was nowhere to be seen. Twilight Zone, Eh? I really didn’t want to confess that I couldn’t find her even as I was ALREADY THERE?

My phone buzzed – She sent a text of the trailhead marker which showed me that she was at the Goucho Trailhead from which she could see the dog park, right next to Steeplechase at the intersection of OHB and Vaughn Rd near HWY 100.

I hopped in my truck and drove the 1/4 mile gap , and we enjoyed a nice hike.


We were both “right” . . . the whole time.

Lesson learned – Clarity is important

We certainly could have saved this game of chicanery had we said at the beginning: “Let’s meet at 3:30 in the Percy Warner Park Goucho Trailhead parking lot.

What I love about this story is that we both sought to understand and worked together (without frustration).

When things start to go wonky with interpersonal communication in EVERY context, PAUSE, consider each person’s perspective, and maintain cooperative dialog to come together . . . then get down to business.

Meet others where THEY are whenever possible 🙂