Your Emotional Support Network

Many of us humans are bearing HEAVY burdens as we do our best to care for the matters of every day. We are tending to the requirements of our work as every facet of the landscape morphs truly minute by minute.

The amplified noise of so many people needing emotional support calls us to selflessly answer their calls for comfort and care.

We continue to give even as we, ourselves, are emotionally spent.

This is NOT a time to seek solitude . . .

Instead, seek as much human contact as you can in the form of INVITING others into open conversations.

Think of something you enjoy doing – Your work – a Hobby – a form of exercise and invite others you know who have similar interests to meet every week for an hour with no prescribed topic. Meet IRL (in real life) if possible – or ZOOM to add the intimacy of seeing of body language and eye contact.

Talk about anything with no agenda . . . or sit in silence together.

Everyone in the room will provide emotional support for self and others.

Self-organization happens effortlessly, and we leave the meeting with fresh perspective and already looking forward to the next weekly gathering.

I do this with 4 different groups of people – Family – Work Associates – Colleagues (other Principal Brokers) – and a collage of Facebook groups.

This is community building which assures all participant that they are important, worthy contributors in the lives of others.

This simple habit can and DOES save lives.

Let’s gather more so as to support ALL of us emotionally

Indefatigably in pursuit of LISTINGS!

House buying options here in Middle Tennessee (and most other real estate markets) are ridiculously absent.

Regardless of price range and area of town, the inventory continues to be a 1 month supply (or lower) . . . A “Healthy” real estate market has 4-6 months of supply. The cupboard is bare – shelves are empty, and home buyer wanna bes are pouncing on any house that shows any sign that it may become available.

If you want proof, start a new project that’s visible to passersby, and it won’t take much time before someone will knock on your door to ask if you are preparing it for the market.

Many homeowners are ready for a Lifestyle change which includes selling their current house and moving into another house as their families grow (up-size) or shrink (downsize), BUT . . . there are ZERO houses on the market suitable for their new lifestyle.

Expert projections are that these conditions will not improve within another 4-6 YEARS.

What we need is a LOT of good-old-fashioned-creative thinking and strategizing.

This is what the “Vital Few” agents of Pareto Realty ponder each and every day. We meet frequently to learn from each other. We test EVERY new idea regardless of even the most outlandish musings.We lose some, but we WIN more than we lose.

Here’s a recent scenario and solution:

The Home Buyer Client is relocating from the West Coast and needs to buy a house within 2 months – Price range is $800,000- $1MM – Within 30 minute commute of Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital.

The reality is that this house profile is virtually an impossibility – EVERY house that comes on the market with those parameters sells before it’s even possible to do a real life walkthrough “showing.” Many Buyers are submitting offers up to 20% higher than comparable recently closed sales, SIGHT UNSEEN!

The stress is palpable!

Our mission is to reduce the unnecessary angst.

One recent solution was for the client to buy a $350,000 (smaller) house or Condominium to live in until the market settles . . . benefit from the @ 9% annual appreciation and then find that dream house and keep the condo as an investment property or sell . . . knowing full well that the client would then be able to pounce on the right house when it presents itself.

Our goal is larger than selling houses . . . It’s about keeping our clients excited about possibilities and feeling confident about their decisions.

Use your 2 feet!

Don’t sit there being miserable!

Your feet brought you where you are now – or – maybe you followed your nose . . .

Perhaps “they” invited you here. “They” told you that you really SHOULD come here, and you did.

Lots of other people are here, so here MUST be THE place to be for people like us.

Are you able to contribute here in a way that you feel heard?

Let’s flip the coin . . . What are YOU receiving while here?

Do you find your mind wandering and thinking of other things and places you could be experiencing?

Maybe you thought you were going to be able to participate but the “talking head” at the front of the room is showing no sign of allowing attendees to become participants?

This has been an invitation for you to adopt and practice liberally the “Law of 2 Feet” which simply says:

“If at any time you find yourself to be in a place where you feel you are neither contributing nor receiving anything of value, you have the right and responsibility to use your 2 feet to take yourself to a place where you CAN contribute and receive.”

In other words: “You have the right to be useful . . . ALWAYS!

Save your own life

This post is relevant for ALL people (not just Realtors) . . . NO one is immune or exempt from personal harm anywhere and anytime. The mass murder in a King Soopers grocery store a few days ago resulted in 10 deaths of normal people in their normal routines in relative peace and security, or so we all thought.

Why wouldn’t we feel safe and secure while shopping for our food and “necessities?”

In the 1st week of 2021, I scheduled topics for the weekly Pareto Realty Training.

The topic I scheduled for today was “PERSONAL SAFETY” and here we are – right topic at the right time?

The brutal reality is that we cannot presume safety and security any time in any place.

There ARE some things we can do to decrease the odds of harm at the hands of malevolent psychopaths.

My military training SCREAMS:


This does not require any specialized training whatsoever, but it does require a measure of re-wiring your mind to a heightened level of awareness of the people and happenings around you. Unearth your face from being embedded in your cell phone when you are in unfamiliar territory. Instead of taking a “life-Break” from your PDA . . . consider taking a Cell phone break from your life . . . in other words, practice living your life and smelling more roses, and occasionally sit still for a moment to catch up with any emails, voice mails, and text messages.

When we allow our personal digital devices to control every waking moment, we are seldom “present and accounted for” . . . and this way does not foster safe and secure conditions.

The most effective “training wheels” for adopting this potentially life-saving habit is to become a “NOTICER.”

As you go about your regular routine, intentionally notice things within your field of vision.

Most criminals have the inherent advantage of “the element of SURPRISE”, and this is actually one of the tenets combat . . . When we’re surprised, we don’t have time respond. Instead, we FREEZE or REACT with our innate “fight or flight” action.

Sadly, that’s most often too late. NO ONE can help you – not even the police – because by the time they arrive, the crime will have been committed and the damage done.

Awareness is THE #1 tactic for thwarting would be assailants. These bad people do NOT want to be seen or noticed . . . anonymity is essential for them to do their dastardly deeds.

Once they’ve been noticed, their cover is blown, and they will likely pass on that target and watch for an easier target.

I know that these mass shootings result in more people wanting to arm themselves for protection, and I understand this sentiment, but it’s not practical for most people. Carrying a firearm bears immense responsibility. Unless you’re highly trained AND willing and capable of killing a human, that weapon could fall into wrong hands and be used on you.

I offer this 1 hour long webinar about personal safety from the perspective of the son of a Realtor who was brutally raped and killed while showing a house.

I encourage you to watch this entire thing – There are many simple tips for being safe in a troubled world.

Beverly & Beyond

Resting on your Laurels, eh?

Real estate markets like this one reveal the true Professionals amongst us.

If you’re a Realtor who primarily works with Home SELLERS, you’re likely enjoying this “shooting fish in a barrel” environment. Heck, any Realtor who accidentally utters anything akin to “new listing coming soon”, and you’ll likely find yourself smothered by a ravenous frenzy of the gagillion Buyer Agents who have been cruising incessantly to catch even a hint of the scent of chum.

For some people, these are the conditions which lure them into a race to the bottom. Suddenly, ethical boundaries seem to blur, fade, or disappear altogether in the most lucrative circumstances.

Some listing agents are choosing to reduce their services – skimping on the customary “pre-listing” activities like hiring professional photographers, staging the decor, landscaping, and going to the trouble of creating a solid marketing plan.



Others know that this market WILL shift and are continuing to practice the fine art of quintessential seller representation.

So . . . Are you sharpening your saw while these times are good?