There’s a reason


This is what it is because someone thought it would be a good idea, and “they” claimed the positional authority to make it so.

Your opinion matters not to this person (or the presiding body politic) as long as it’s perceived to be relevant to the mission.

If you decide to challenge the validity of this, you might find yourself facing opposition.

There are egos to consider.

Common sense might become absent . . . “It’s this way because it’s ALWAYS been this way”

How important to you is this battle?

What’s the potential cost in energy, time, and/or money?

Can you Let Go?

Here’s the bottom line . . . Can you let it go?

If not, proceed until success (unless or until tackled)

FAST Personality Litmus Tests

Interpersonal communication between people who have never met can be challenging. STRONG personalities can DOMINATE and CONTROL while the “Life of the party” folks fill the room with chatter and laughter . . . and the sensitive, emotional attendees feel overwhelmed by all of this LOUD noise and boisterous energy . . . Meanwhile, the compliant people in the room try to call the business at hand to order (fighting a losing battle).

With just a few little “hacks”, we can all contribute to improving the ambiance of every new conversation amongst relative strangers. Using these tips, odds are good you can make a good guess at a stranger’s personality, and HONOR who they are by meeting them as much as possible where THEY are by mirroring through observation. This is intentional relationship building at the core and gets constructive conversations moving more quickly.

There are myriad “Personality Assessment tools” which require answering lots of questions followed by a “scoring” process . . . Of course, we don’t have the time or inclination to have all participants take such a test before engaging in dialog, so I lead with the DISC assessment which (once practiced) can hone in enough on another person’s probable personality very quickly simply by observing mannerisms, voice inflection, body language, and verbal intonation.

DOMINANCE – LOUD – IN CHARGE – Wants things DONE NOW (not so worried about being done right, as long as it’s done. Impatient and may seem to be non-caring . . . Insensitive and overbearing

INFLUENCE – The life of the party. Chatty and FUN! Probably driving a flashy new car and dressed to the nines. This person seems to know EVERYONE and flits around from person to person and may seem too fleeting to be full engaged

STEADINESS – Quiet and reserved – an observer who might not say much, but when speaking, wise and thoughtful. These folks have “FEELINGS” (and will likely mention: “I feel . . . “)

COMPLIANCE – For these folks, following the rules is important. Statistics and accuracy are important. They don’t speak much, but when they do, their thoughts will be well constructed and precision of thought

Following are a few (more simple) was of zeroing in another person’s personality.

Peach – These people are soft and fuzzy at first impression . . . very sweet inside, and be aware that they have a very hard PIT that can hurt you if you bite too deep. A Peach is likely to stew in silence (seething) on something for a while and then they EXPLODE. It’s important to pay attention to them even though they are sitting in apparent alignment

Melon – These people are the ones you can’t get much out of for a while. They might seem to be aloof, unengaged, arrogant? They seem to be unapproachable, difficult to engage, not interested, BUT Beyond that tough, skin, they are very sweet and loyal people . . . often the most valuable team players

Cat – These people seem not to care about anything that’s happening – In their own little selfish worlds doing whatever they want to do . . . It seems they could take you or leave you at a moment’s notice. When they DO show up, they want ALL the attention. and don’t DARE think you can make them do something they don’t want to do (Like take a bath)

Dog – LOVE you and only want you to be happy. Content, LOYAL (to a fault). These folks will defend their loved ones faithfully. They are unconditional and simple companions.

There’s my stab at “Interpersonal Relationship Building 101

Remember – mirror others, and you’ll find yourself in more efficient and productive communication as you meander through life



Where are we relative to each other

A few days go, a friend and I agreed to meet for a hike. On the appointed day, I had a business meeting scheduled for 1:30 that I was certain wouldn’t take more than 45 minutes. My meeting was about a 10 minute drive to the trailhead, so we agreed that we would meet “after 2:30” in the designated park.

My meeting went well, but the unexpected occured . . . 3 of the attendees (not I) were Auctioneers, and we seemed to wrapping up the business at @ 2:15, so I sent my friend a text: “Wrapping up here – my ETA @ 2:30”

I learned something about Auctioneers for the following hour & 1/2 . . . They LOVE to tell auction stories, and they have MANY tales to tell, and EVERY new tale told begets memory of another tale.

While I enjoyed hearing all of these stories, my blood pressure was rising as I knew my friend was waiting waiting waiting . . . Would she give up?

@3:30, the storytelling ended, and I called my friend who had done what I probably would have done – She set out on the trail . . . so . . . we began the hilarious problem solving exercise of finding each other in this HUGE park.

The hilarity commenced with what we thought would be the easiest solution. I would find her car, park there, and strike out on the trail towards her and she would turn around towards me. Sensible – Yes?

She told me that, from her car, she could see Steeplechase, OHB and Vaughn road near HWY 100. AHA! I know that spot well, and I was certain I would find her car in the dog park parking lot at the corner of OHB and Vaughn Rd, so I went there and found her car right where she described it – “Red car backed into the 1st parking lot – Totally visible”


I sat and waited for 15 minutes, and she sent me a text: : “I just made it to my car” . . . HUH? I looked around, and she was nowhere to be seen. Twilight Zone, Eh? I really didn’t want to confess that I couldn’t find her even as I was ALREADY THERE?

My phone buzzed – She sent a text of the trailhead marker which showed me that she was at the Goucho Trailhead from which she could see the dog park, right next to Steeplechase at the intersection of OHB and Vaughn Rd near HWY 100.

I hopped in my truck and drove the 1/4 mile gap , and we enjoyed a nice hike.


We were both “right” . . . the whole time.

Lesson learned – Clarity is important

We certainly could have saved this game of chicanery had we said at the beginning: “Let’s meet at 3:30 in the Percy Warner Park Goucho Trailhead parking lot.

What I love about this story is that we both sought to understand and worked together (without frustration).

When things start to go wonky with interpersonal communication in EVERY context, PAUSE, consider each person’s perspective, and maintain cooperative dialog to come together . . . then get down to business.

Meet others where THEY are whenever possible ūüôā

Practicing serendipity

“A combination of events which are not individually beneficial, but occurring together produce a good or wonderful outcome.”

Serendipity is enigmatic.

By definition, it can’t be predicted . . . it just happens.

Some people live a life of disappointment as they tumble through life expecting serendipity to occur.

My experience is that it’s not something that can be beckoned at will._

It’s fleeting and spritish.

So . . . If you’re going to expect anything, expect to be surprised.

Serendipity seems to be attracted more frequently to people who believe . . . and notice . . . and acknowledge when it shows up.

Celebrate this beneficence and carry on.


What advice would I give new realtor?


You’ve earned and received your real estate license.

This is, in and of itself, an accomplishment many applicants don’t achieve.

Now is time for you to realize that you are opening your very own BUSINESS. Your mindset must begin with you accepting FULL responsibility for attaining the level of success which will provide the income to support and sustain the quality of life you desire. 

NO ONE can do this part for you, and there are no short-cuts between now and your desired outcome.

Begin with an understanding that your real estate practice is, indeed, a practice. The best Real Estate sales Agents truly are professionals. These are hard working entrepreneurs entering a field of work in which there are innumerable competitors.

The reality is that virtually EVERYONE YOU KNOW already knows 12 Realtors. Additionally, NONE of the people you know know you as a Real Estate Sales professional, so your first and most important mission is to earn the “Mindshare” of everyone you know to know you as being their sole source for all things real estate.

To some degree, you must do whatever it takes (Within legal and ethical boundaries) to be FAMOUS as THE Realtor to call when ANYONE you know has a need to buy or sell a house. Even better, these people are your “Sphere of influence” who already know, like, and trust you and they want YOU to succeed and will refer THEIR family, friends, and work associates as long as you let them know that you are accepting clients.

Beyond this, know that this is sales process which you will be executing. This process doesn’t change from transaction to transaction, but the experience is ALWAYS unique to each client because every client has differing needs and wants . . . and this is likely their largest transaction with the most at stake (Quality of life desires).¬†

Always remember that the client makes ALL of the decisions, and your role is to inform, counsel, and execute the process.

So . . . How do you make yourself FAMOUS? 

You MUST do this every single day of your career with intentional “Lead Generation” . . . connecting with people you already know and meeting lots of people you haven’t met. The lifeblood of your career is one of gathering people who know you as THEIR Realtor for LIFE!

This may seem to be a daunting task, and it is if you attempt to work with everyone on Planet Earth. 

Instead, follow the path of being a Quintessential professional. Become a career “Student” of the Local, City, State, and national real estate environment and always seek new knowledge. Much of this will be experiential learning “OJT” (on the job training) and as an indefatigable voracious¬†reader of statistics and trends as reported in myriad reliable sources.

The High levels of success show up when you acknowledge that your practice is a BUSINESS and then conduct your career accordingly.

This begins with putting a lot of thought into identifying your niche. 

Who do you want to serve? 

Where are these people?

WHY do you have passion for serving these people instead of all of the others?

With a defined niche, how can you communicate to the general public your Unique selling proposition? 

Create your own BRAND such that you organically attract the right people (your niche).

The bottom line of building a successful Real Estate Practice?

  • You manage and execute the process, and your client makes the decisions
  • Define a Niche within which you are FAMOUS
  • Gather people – Lead Generate EVERY DAY
  • FOCUS on building your Personal BRAND
  • Last but not least . . . Take care of yourself (Spirit – Mind – Body) because success comes from within . . . We cannot serve others very well,¬† if we are personally depleted
  • b
  • Barry Owen – Real Estate Advisor
  • Wizard of The Vital Few
  • Engel¬†&¬†V√∂lkers Nashville
  • 3912 Hillsboro Circle
  • Nashville, Tennessee 37215
  • Mail to:¬†¬†